www.bouldering-monkeys.co.uk

Bouldering Monkeys - The Keyring.

This can be made by obtaining a free keyring from a publicity event such as Freshers Fayre, and printing the BM Logo and web address onto paper. The paper is then inserted in the place of the Royal Navy/Natwest/ Barclays etc. logo.

Bouldering Monkeys - The Male Long Sleeve Top.

Only available in xxl or dwarf-small. To order go to your nearest clothes shop and purchase a plain long sleeve top in a colour of your choice. Take the aforementioned shirt to a printing shop and instruct them to print "www.bouldering-monkeys.co.uk" in a Stencil font. Wait 2-3 weeks, then collect. Wear regulary for best results.

Bouldering Monkeys - The Baseball Cap.

These can only be manufactured in infeasably distant reaches of the world i.e. Brisbane or Tenerife.

Bouldering Monkeys - The Skateboard (top view).

These decks were uniquely produced by south american beavers, using modern quimatic methods, which involve whitling a large lob of wood, in the american sense of the word.

Bouldering Monkeys - The Female Tight T-Shirt (Black).

Copy and paste description of manufacture from long sleeve male top, replacing 'long sleeve' for 'tight', and 'male' for 'female'.

Bouldering Monkeys - The Female Tight T-Shirt (Navy).

As the 'Female Tight T-Shirt' but replacing 'black' with 'navy'.

Bouldering Monkeys - The Female Tight T-Shirt (White).

As the 'Female Tight T-Shirt' but replacing 'black' with 'white'.

Bouldering Monkeys - The Welding Mask.

You too can be the envy of your garage with this amazing welding mask.

Produce a bouldering monkeys stamp from quasi-cast beta titanium. Purchase a welding mask or alternatively yoink one from Corny. Put the mask on and run full pelt into the stamp. This leaves a wonderful indent of "bouldering monkeys" for all to see and admire.

Bouldering Monkeys - The Ironing Board Cover.

A must for all you female fans...sexist....shame...nehoo. This is an essential item for the maintenance and upkeep of your recently purchased Bouldering MonkeyWear.

Warning : may contain traces of nut.

The skateboard used in the filming of The Chase - Part II - Reunited.

This was used by cameraman number 5 in the van chase scene. The idea was to simulate the van pulling quickly away from the villain by rolling away from the stationary van, thus saving on petrol and halving the total spend on The Chase. However, in reality it gave the effect of the cameraman rolling down a hill backwards away from a stationary van on a broken skateboard. Therefore, saving on petrol and halving the total spend on The Chase.

The bucket used in the filming of The Chase - Part II - Reunited.

This was used to contain the 'tap juice', which, when thrown, rendered the evil villain (No.7) traumatised and damp to the touch. The bucket actually played a much larger role, but several of his/her scenes were cut due the vile nature of their content. The bucket has since gone public with revalations of an affair with a famous footballer who shall remain named....D.Beckham. .no..no.. David.B.